10. Other Europeans not mentioned below (eg. Eastern Europeans, Scandinavians, etc) - fantastic people! Generally introvert, introspective, keeping to themselves, but fun and cool once you engage them.

9. Japanese - we know how they are. Quiet, discrete, disciplined. The perfect traveler.

8. Germans - also quite cool. In typical fashion, very direct and straightforward, so not the best to joke around with but great for exchanging information and honest opinions.

7. English - this is the bunch to have fun with. Some keep to themselves, but most are of the young, partying variety and lean heavily on the ‘beer drinking and socializing’ aspect of travel without causing any problems (nothing in common with the football fan crowd). ALL times I had a couple of beers too many, it was in the company of English.

6. Aussies - as I’ve mentioned, they all look like they just stepped off a beach and typically sport hilarious-looking mullets and ‘staches but still are generally solid and dependable for good company.

5. Americans - this ranking spot is the average between super cool, smart, indie travelers (the best people you can meet when traveling are this sort of Americans!) and super pretentious New England or California Freddie Mileses (the role Philip Seymour Hoffman played in The Talented Mr. Ripley) - saying things like “all my favorite drinks are brown” and casually tossing the word “quaint” when comparing locations.

4. Russians - this one may surprise you as higher than expected but they follow their own rhythm and are busy enough trying to interact with locals without speaking a lick of English. You would rarely see them make big noise or act out inappropriately - in more cases they’d just be seeking out the closest restaurant with cheap booze to quietly immerse themselves in alcohol.

3. French - maybe because visitors from France lean heavily on the mature side (insert ‘came to inspect if the colonies are as they remember them’ joke), they act completely clueless in traffic. Walking in the middle of busy roads, blocking passageways with their photography - all boomer behavior is on full display with the French in SE Asia. Another thing that made a negative impression was that they are the only people who don’t say ‘hi’ in the mountains on hikes (that includes mostly young French, so it’s not a boomer issue). And yes, they still don’t speak any meaningful English.

2. Chinese / Koreans - typically moving in large, boomer-only groups. Their signature style is a complete lack of discretion, boundaries and sophistication. Loud speak at temples. Occupying all angles for photo taking - frequently just barging into your shot. Watching phone video with full sound on, in quiet vehicles and rooms. Props and viewpoints monopolization. Ignoring queues. Setting up picnics in the middle of hotel parking lots. Playing loud music from own devices while there’s “official” music. I could go on and on.

1. And with that, we reach our “winners”. The one redeeming factor for the Chinese / Koreans is that whenever they are forced to interact with another tourist, eg. a Westerner maddened by their obnoxious tactics, they swiftly back off. Their behavior is clearly not intending to offend, it’s just how they are used to doing things, I guess. Enter the Indians - take everything described above about the Chinese / Koreans’ tourist type and behaviors and add a healthy dose of confrontationalism. When engaged about cutting queues (a default behavior, not an exception), they will counterattack and escalate, not back off. A true nightmare to deal with, if you mix paths. One more thing that makes a bad impression is that their groups are often divided into males and females - with the ladies clearly playing a supporting role only. My favorite anecdote involving Indian tourists was on my Ha Long Bay Cruise. An Indian group of what looked like several friendly couples boarded the ship. Five-six 40-50-years-old guys with matching Hawaiian shirts, a dress code for them only. A different number (for some reason) of women, same age, in beautiful saris. The guys quickly disengaged from whatever all other ship passengers were doing. Did not participate in any activities. Sat in the back of the room and talked and laughed loudly while everyone else was listening to instructions from the crew. Interacted with their women for a total of one minute, just to hand off some stuff to be brought back into rooms. Boarded at noon and until 4 pm had five large G&Ts each, then proceeded to pass out on the loungers on the upper deck and skipped dinner.

A Top 10 ranking of Tourists visiting…