I’m leaving for my biggest trip ever. And I’m leaving for it in my strangest mindset ever.
Typically when I go on trips, I’ve been storing up anticipation. Whether it’s BS at work that has accumulated and needs a release or the plain old need for something new and different, I’ve always felt like I hit the ground on trips with a running start, full of energy and desire for discovery. Like a spring that you slightly wind and then it recoils forward to compensate and defy all constraints.
This trip’s preparation started the same way. I turbo-researched it, as I do more and more - but I outdid myself on this one. Research quickly grew to thirty-nine Word pages of places, things to do, food to eat, tips, and tricks.
And then, life happened - family trouble came along and just swept all my headspace, time, and energy away. The spring was broken into a thousand pieces and there’s no coil, recoil, or any visible physical process to note. The situation has now, let’s just say, “settled”, but is far from ideal or resolved. This generates a bit of guilt as I now leave, but I manage to parry this with the very clear and assured knowledge that I’ve gone above and beyond what should have been expected of me. I learned a few years ago that you can only help others if you fully take care of yourself first, and now is the time for me to do that.
I’m leaving for my much-planned trip stressed, not sleeping well, not with a running start but from a position of a firm grip on the starting line.
I’m hoping desperately for quick healing and know what the recipe is: enough sleep, variety and discovery, good food, interesting surroundings, fun and unexpected connections, a drink here and there, but without overdoing it, moderate physical fatigue coupled with mental rejuvenation. Steps. Rooftop bars. Oysters. Swims. Dodgy street food that hits the spot. Small challenges that you overcome. Views. Massages. Feeling the pulse of a city. A speeding boat. Steak on a stone plate. Fancy speakeasy cocktails with that big chunks of ice. Funny strangers. Sunsets.
Fingers crossed.
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